Next week I will be turning 16 and every year she has me say grace before dinner. This is the first year I will be doing this as an athest. Should I tell her I am an atheist or should I just play along?
Posted: June 6th 2011
Ophelia Benson www
One huge reason you have to make that decision yourself is that you know your grandmother and we don’t. You have some idea whether it would hurt her or not, whether it would worry her or not, and the like, also whether it would do some kind of good or not (and to whom).
One possibility might be to work out some kind of secular prayer that wouldn’t feel icky to you and also wouldn’t upset your grandmother. You could express thanks without spelling out that the thanks are for “God.”
Posted: June 8th 2011
Eric_PK
You have to make that decision yourself.
However, I recommend that you try to figure out the absolute worst thing that might happen if you tell her you are an atheist and base your decision on that. I don’t know the particulars of your family, but atheists have been kicked out of the house, had all contact broken off, etc.
Remember that you can’t untell her that you are an atheist.
Posted: June 6th 2011
Eshu www
That’s a pretty hard question for a stranger to answer. It all depends on how much hassle or upset you are willing to generate.
Yes, it could be considered dishonest to go along with it just to keep the peace, but you could consider it acting. As you get older you’ll probably find yourself “humouring” your family more and more. I know atheists on the Internet bang on about how important it is to be “out there” being visible as an atheist and speaking your mind and so on, but really it has to be up to individuals as to what they feel comfortable with. If you choose to keep quiet and play along with the religious rituals, even though they mean nothing to you, I wouldn’t blame you. No way should you think you’d be letting the atheist community down. Family are important (I didn’t realise this when I was 16) – it’s important to keep on good terms with them.
On the other hand, if you’re feeling brave and think it would be well-received, you could try an atheist dinner benediction.
Posted: June 6th 2011