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If God existed, what would you ask him?

I know you guys don’t believe in God’s existence, I understand that, but let’s just assume that God exists. If you had the chance to ask a question and receive quick reply, what would that question be?

Thank you!

Posted: April 20th 2009

George Ricker www

What were you thinking?

Posted: April 22nd 2009

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flagellant www

Four questions spring to mind, I would ask her:

1. Why do you behave as though you don’t exist? Are you shy?
2. Why do you allow such terrible things to be said and done in your name?
3. Why do you choose such a noxious bunch of people to represent you? and
4. Since you, presumably, created everything, who created you? Which noxious bunch was it?
Not much chance of an answer, though, given her track record…

Just for a moment, though, I thought that this piece , in The Onion, describing god making a surprise visit to a local church, meant that answers might be forthcoming, after all. However, I now think it may be a joke… ;-)

Posted: April 22nd 2009

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jonecc www

I’d like him to explain why he allows generally reliable footballers to make basic defensive errors at crucial moments of the game. Also, I’d like to know where my keys went.

Posted: April 22nd 2009

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bitbutter www

I continually hear from your worshippers that you’re in the business of 'opening people’s hearts’ to your existence. Is there a specific reason that you never revealed your existence to me in this way?

The collection of writings called the bible looks an awful lot like other 'sacred texts’; on a plain reading it’s self-contradictory, filled with irrelevant arbitrary rules and wacky superstition. If you wanted people to believe in your existence, why did you allow yourself to be represented in such an underwhelming way?

Your followers can’t agree between themselves about how to interpret your pronouncements. People are killing each other because of disagreements about how to serve you. You’ve allowed this bloodshed and misery to continue for centuries, is it because you find it flattering?

If you had delivered specific, unambiguous, novel and falsifiable scientific information during your Jesus tour, such as instructions for how to create a cure for cancer, or an accurate prediction of the exact time and location of a planetoid impact on the earth, many more people would now be convinced of your existence and wouldn’t be making videos like this one. Did you drop the ball there?

While Jesus, why did you tell your followers that you would return to the earth within a human lifetime? If you didn’t mean this to be taken literally, why did you risk misunderstanding by not speaking plainly?

Do you really see all sins as being equally serious? And if so, shouldn’t we model our justice system accordingly? life imprisonment for a white lie etc.

Why doesn’t prayer work, when you specifically said
bq. for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

If you’re really all-powerful, how can your followers be sure that you’re not an evil god who is deceiving them?

Posted: April 22nd 2009

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brian thomson www

“Hellooo … ? Where were you when your people needed you, Mr. Absentee Landlord? Asleep at the Switch?”

Not much obeisance in evidence here, but I suppose that’s to be expected. Your god has not done anything worthy of my respect. Besides, even if your god exists, and is going to judge me, I have no fear about what will happen there, since I try to live in a way that benefits my fellow man, or at least doesn’t harm them. What more could be reasonably expected?

If your god is as powerful, omniscient and smart as you think he is, he would be more interested in what I did while alive, not in whether I make the right religious noises. So, I would have no reason to kowtow or beg for mercy, even if I felt so-inclined, which I don’t.

Posted: April 22nd 2009

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Reed Braden www

Hey, Jackass, why did you make me gay and then tell your supporters that homosexuality was a choice, a sin and unnatural?

Posted: April 22nd 2009

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SmartLX www

“Who are you? Does any religion on the planet have the right idea about you? If so, why have you let all the others labour under their misconceptions for all this time? If not, why haven’t you given anyone the right idea?”

Posted: April 21st 2009

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Dave Hitt www

I’d ask, “What is wrong with you?”

“According to holy books of all different flavors you’ve commissioned or condoned rape, murder, slavery, genocide, war, pedophilia and incest. I’m a lowly, ignorant human, but I know those things are wrong. You don’t. What’s wrong with you?”

“You’ve created a world full of horrible parasites, including worms that can only live in the eyes of humans and heartworms that kill beloved pets. You’ve created viruses and bacteria that cause diseases that are not only deadly, but excruciatingly painful. What’s wrong with you?”

“You’ve created some creatures that can regenerate, growing back limbs and missing body parts so they can survive. You could have given this ability to humans, but you didn’t. What’s wrong with you?”

“In modern times you’ve allowed genocide, devastating natural disasters that have killed and maimed millions, evils like Hitler and Stalin and Mao and disco and “Mamma’s Family.” You could have stopped these things with just a thought, but you didn’t. What’s wrong with you?”

“You’ve created a lot of wonderful things, and while it’s true we need some hardship and bad things to appreciate the good, you’ve really overdone it on the negative side. Why? What’s wrong with you?”

Posted: April 21st 2009

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logicel

I would ask god who was its god. And if it showed me its god, I would then ask that god who was its god. It’s turtles, oops, gods, all the way down. Should keep me busy for an eternity.

Posted: April 21st 2009

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