This is a very personal decision and everybody has to make it on their own -there is no right answer.

I advise caution, for a couple of reasons.

First, there’s no way to un-tell parents, and as your parents they have a considerable ability to make your life difficult.

Second, as non-practicing Catholics, my guess is that your parent’s beliefs currently have a pretty small impact on what you believe – they aren’t forcing you to go to church, for example.

Have you been reading books that are at least lukewarm to religion? Have they seen the books, and have you discussed any of the concepts with them? That could give you a better read on how they might respond…

Posted: October 5th 2009

See all questions answered by Eric_PK

This is a difficult question to answer. Whether or not you should tell your parents depends on your own level of comfort with your atheism, your relationship with your parents, and the reaction you expect them to have.

For myself, I’m 26, educated, well-read, and (I suppose) successful, and I still haven’t told my dad. My mom knows because she can deal with the issue (such as it is) in a constructive manner, even if she doesn’t agree.

My dad, well, I think it would just break his heart to hear me say I don’t believe in God, and for that reason I haven’t ever told him (though he probably knows on some level that I’m not exactly Catholic anymore). If it was a matter of simple disagreement, it would be no problem, but it’s not; it’s a matter of hurting someone I care about.

James Randi, that irascible old skeptical curmudgeon, has said that he would absolutely lie to a dying relative about his atheism and lack of supernatural belief if it would give them comfort in their last moments. Penn Jilette, of Penn and Teller, has said that he absolutely would not. Your priorities and values will determine where you fall on the spectrum between them.

I know this answer probably isn’t what you’re looking for, but I hope that I’ve given you something to think about regarding the issue.

Posted: October 5th 2009

See all questions answered by Akusai

I think you should think carefully about why you want to tell them and what you hope the result of telling them will be.

You’ve said you’ve done some reading, which is great as it will help if you’re confident and knowledgeable about your non-belief. When I was 15 I certainly wasn’t confident or knowledgeable!

It might also be worth preparing for their possible reactions. They might think you’re just attention seeking, or going through a phase or any of those other patronising things that parents sometimes say!

If you’re accused of being fundamentalist or dogmatic, I’d suggest reading Greta Christina’s post on
atheism and uncertainty. Atheism is also associated by many religious folk with immorality, so you may want to have a think about how to deal with that.

Personally, I don’t think atheism is a big deal, any more than believing that the Earth is round is a big deal. So I suggest not making a big song and dance about admitting your atheism, just mention it in passing when the time seems right. If you sit your parents down and tell them you have something important to say to them, they’ll be on edge and almost expecting some terrible revelation. I’m assuming that you don’t want a big reaction, just for life to carry on as before with a bit more honesty?

Hopefully you’re not expecting to debate your family into atheism as well? That may be very hard. I’d recommend not getting into long arguments about it if possible.

I’ve learnt recently that some of the most powerful arguments for atheism are unspoken. Simply living your life as a decent, ethical, happy atheist can have a profound effect on religious believers who have been told that religion is necessary for a good life.

Good luck!

Posted: October 5th 2009

See all questions answered by Eshu

If they don’t go to church, then it’s not very likely that they’re the sort of fundamentalist parents who would come down on you like a ton of bricks if you tell them you don’t believe.

If your belief is important to them, they might actually appreciate you telling them you’re an atheist, because it gives them a chance to discuss it with you. It might well give you a chance to sort out your own thoughts on the subject.

They’re going to find out sooner or later, you know, even if it doesn’t happen until the issue of baptising your future firstborn arises years from now. If you don’t think they’re going to go all fire-and-brimstone on you, maybe it’s best to get it over with now so there isn’t such a long period beforehand that you’ve kept it from them.

Posted: October 4th 2009

See all questions answered by SmartLX