I am 20 years old, I’ve been raised in a strict Catholic family and went to a convent school but 2 years ago I told my parents I’m atheist. My mother accepts it because she brought me up to stand up for what I believe in and do whatever makes me happy. My father on the other hand is very strict and doesn’t agree with it. My grandmother is dead 11 years next week and there is a remembrance mass on in my local church that my whole family will be attending. I feel its best if I don’t go, I feel if I go I’ll be a hypocrite and I’d rather pay my respects in my own way (and my grandmother would rather me do it my way than be forced to go to mass I know that for a fact). But now my mother is forgetting her own advice to me and my parents are forcing me to go, I explained to them that’s not the Christian way to do things,if they were proper Christians they wouldn’t force me to do something I don’t feel is right. How can I convince them to stop forcing me to go to church? Thank you.
Posted: May 22nd 2010
George Locke
It seems to me like you’re over-thinking this. There’s nothing intrinsically religious about a remembrance. Whatever baggage the church attaches to the mass, just remember it’s basically about your grandmother.
It’s regrettable that your grandmother is being remembered in this way, but it seems like you wouldn’t lose much by going. It’s not like Richard Dawkins is going to visit you in your sleep and wrap your knuckles for committing the ultimate sin of intellectual dishonesty. There is no such sin.
On the other hand, you can spare yourself a good deal of acrimony by just going along with the flow.
Posted: May 24th 2010
Dave Hitt www
Most people are blind to their own hypocrisy, even when (and sometimes especially when) it’s pointed out to them. But you may be asking the wrong question.
Do you really want to call them hypocrites? What will that accomplish?
Most people in our lives are theists. As atheists, sometimes we have to compromise and go along with things we don’t agree with or believe in to keep the peace. Everyone has to draw their own line in the sand, but consider the repercussions and implications before drawing it. It’s easy to become so strident and instant you’ll lose friends and family, and you need to consider if it’s worth that.
Posted: May 23rd 2010
brian thomson www
Sounds to me like your grandmother’s opinion might be something you can use to play your parents off of each other. Apart from that, I don’t know what else to advise you other than: don’t go if you don’t want to. Since your parents already know what you think, it really looks that simple to me.
You say you’re 20: more than old enough for you to put your foot down. What’s the worst that can happen? If there’s a threat of physical violence against you if you don’t go, reasoning is not going to help anyway. They may be your family, but that doesn’t automatically make them your friends – something I had learned by the time I was 16.
Posted: May 23rd 2010