I have an alcoholic in my life (that sounds fishy but honestly: it’s not me!) who would prefer to declare himself Atheist or Agnostic and has finally gotten sober after two stints in rehab. AA is so strongly God-based they even have a chapter in their book “We Agnostics”. My alcoholic friend asked me to read it and I couldn’t even get through it without sprinting to the computer to “AsktheAtheists.com”... I will finish reading it while I await your collective wisdom on this subject. We are in Michigan, and while I have seen groups which help conquer alcoholism without a so-called higher power they are all based out west. So far AA is really helping him, he goes to meetings every day and even runs one but he says he feels like a hypocrite when he recites the prayers. He is truly struggling. Could you speak to this? I am so glad to have found your site! Thank you.
Posted: May 24th 2010
Reed Braden www
I just quit smoking cigarettes, and I was up to two packs (40 cigarettes) every day before I quit. If you’re uncomfortable going to AA you can quit on your own, but it will be a lot harder.
You need to recognize that you definitely want to, no matter how miserable it will be, quit. When you want to quit so bad that you will push through and fight the withdrawal symptoms without help, just do it.
For the past month, every time I saw someone smoking in public, it took every ounce of will I had to keep from running up to and sniffing them vigorously… or at least asking them for a cigarette. But the longer I fight it, the easier it gets.
You will need your friends or family or some other type of support network, who you trust and who can help, and it doesn’t have to be AA. If you don’t think you can talk about it to any of your existing support network, start seeing a psychologist.
Don’t get better for God, get better for someone who actually matters: Get better for you.
Posted: May 31st 2010
logicel
If he does want to continue going to AA because it is helping, then he can simply mediate on anything he wants during 'prayers.’ The higher power concept is a tool to get the addict from focusing on their tiny little world of pleasure seeking and pain avoidance and get them to connect to a bigger one of maturity, responsibility, nurturing, etc.
A higher power focus can be a custom-made tool. For me, it was a focus on connection with others and with events, activities outside of my atrophied addicted world. Supernatural spirituality has no match for engaging with reality. He needs to think about what is meaningful to him (other than getting high on booze of course) and to focus on those aspects when his group uses the higher power approach.
Religious faith is there to be used, since so many have it, but confidence in learning how to become more engaged with a bigger world than the close-ended one of addiction is even more potent in my book.
As far as he feels uncomfortable, he can speak to the group leader and/or his sponsor explaining that his use of the higher power concept is a secular one. AA says that they encourage honesty as many addicts resort to lying and subterfuge. Your friend can say that his coming out and delineating that his higher power is a secular one is part of his recovery process, to be honest with himself and with others and so he can continue the program with them.
If this does not work, then he really does need to get professional support other than from his present group.
Posted: May 27th 2010
George Locke
SMART Recovery lists several Michigan meetings on their website. I can only wish your friend the best of luck!!
Posted: May 26th 2010
SmartLX www
Depending on the version, God or a “higher power” is mentioned in about half of the AA program’s twelve steps. There’s no way around it for an atheist, except to see something other than a god as a “higher power”.
That’s not as hard as it sounds, because according to the wording it need only be a higher or greater power than the individual participant. It could be the AA group itself, for example. Your friend could think of the prayers as direct appeals and pledges to the people around him.
Posted: May 24th 2010