What is the best way to show proper respect for the death of an atheist? Or would it be missing the point to do anything at all?
My cousin died recently, and she was a hard atheist. The funeral is probably going to be a heavily Polish Catholic affair. I know she won’t puke from beyond, but I’d like to do something appropriately godless in her name.
Maybe make a donation in her name to a scientific organizations with hard atheist leanings?
Posted: June 6th 2010
SmartLX www
You may or may not have agreed with the departed about religion, but if you want to honour her then you must have had something in common. To honour her legacy, do something for a cause you both felt was important. If that’s atheism, great, but don’t dis-honour your own principles and beliefs. Nobody would want that.
To honour the person herself, assist in the preservation of her memory. Talk about how good a person she was. Collate some old photographs of her. Offer to read a poem or a bit of prose she liked at her funeral, in between all the religious stuff.
As an atheist she’d have been aware that what you did after her death would not be for her benefit, but for yours and others’. If knowing something about her or continuing something she did would help people, bringing this about is the best tribute you could give.
Posted: July 6th 2010
logicel
I am sorry for your loss.
It is implied in your question that there is nothing you can do at the religious funeral that will be most likely held for her which would be in keeping with your atheist cousin’s lack of god belief. Therefore you are focused on doing an individual act of honoring her. If that is not the case, then check these answers for suggestions for an atheist funeral.
The religious members of her family, unless they are violating any direct orders from her not to have a religious funeral, are simply doing what they regard as the most honorable and best way of commemorating her death. If your cousin loved her family, I can’t see why you can’t attend the funeral, supporting them in the only way they know how to handle such grief. After all, they are alive and she is dead. She doesn’t need you any longer. But they do. See here for several contributors’ opinion on this matter.
But if you do not want to go or if you do, and you still want to do something that would have made her happy if she was alive, then do that. If she liked a certain food, then eat that dish, or see a certain movie she loved, or do something she liked doing, walking in a favorite place, etc. In that way, her life is giving some one else a positive experience, and you can in this way, give yourself an opportunity to let go of her and start the process of mourning yourself.
Beyond your properly mourning for her in your own way (my above suggestions are only that, suggestions, do what will allow you to mourn her death in the most meaningful way to you), if you want to do something that would advance atheism, the best way to do that is to be a vocal atheist yourself. If that is not a possibility, or you still want to make another gesture, then a donation to any secular charity (unless of course your cousin had a particular interest) is definitely doable. Here is a list of non-religious charities.
A specifically atheist foundation whose focus is to advance science is, of course, The Richard Dawkins Foundation. In addition, Richard Dawkins has set up Non-Believers Giving Aid, which donates all proceeds to natural disaster victims.
Posted: June 6th 2010