I am an atheist and I have a 6 year old daughter. My mother is a devote christian and she knows I am an atheist (something she doesn’t like). Every time I take my daughter to my parents house for a few hours or a weekend, my mother tells my daughter about god and takes her to church. My daughter talks sometimes about god and says that god created her. So far I have let her believe in all those fairy tales. Should I ask my mother to stop indoctrinating my daughter? When is it a good time to tell my daughter the truth about god, Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, etc? What other things can I do to “inoculate” my daughter against religion?
Posted: June 8th 2010
Dave Hitt www
I like the direct approach.
“Mom, knock it off, or I’m not going to allow my daughter to visit you. You may vist us, but you will not be left with her unsupervised.”
When (not if) she does it again, stand firm. Do not let her see your daughter without you present for a month or three, before you give her another chance. Once again, be very clear, that if she does it again it will be six months before she can have unsupervised visits. Keep extending the time until your daughter is old enough that you don’t have to worry about the indoctrination. (About 20 or so should be safe.)
Posted: July 17th 2010
Eric_PK
She’s your kid, and you have to decide what you are going to put up with from your mother. My opinion is that you need to put your foot down and tell your mom that unless she stops doing this, she isn’t going to see your daughter any more.
An alternate approach is to spend a lot of time talking to your daughter about other religions and beliefs and about how all of them are just make believe, but you may have trouble fighting against the power of the christian indoctrination.
Posted: June 19th 2010
logicel
The best way to start showing your daughter how to apply critical thinking (hence, be inoculated) is to apply critical thinking yourself.
It is not practical to order your mother to stop her indoctrination (and it is indoctrination), because most likely she can’t help herself.
You need to spend time with your daughter where she can observe and learn from you how you apply critical thinking. Be consistent as much as you can. The best aspect will be when your daughter will catch you in some inconsistency—seize this opportunity with great vigor, admitting that you were inconsistent with logic, rationality, etc. You will be the better for it, plus you will be directly helping her to build confidence in her own growing ability.
Work with your daughter’s natural curiosity. Ask her questions. Wonder with her regarding all the many religions. Demonstrate the difference between confidence born from evidence and fact and religious faith. Have fun with her, hugging and laughing together.
Your mother’s indoctrination will not stand a chance.
Posted: June 10th 2010
SmartLX www
Honestly, this isn’t a fight you two should be fighting through your daughter, loading her up alternately with preaching and counter-apologetic and making her choose. That can only be destructive to family relationships.
Talk to your mother first. Ask her what she’s actually telling your daughter, and make sure it’s nothing traumatising (hellfire, for example, or Sodom, or Moses’ tenth plague).
Once you’re satisfied that the preaching so far isn’t doing her any serious harm, the angle I would take is that your mother should be trying to convert you, not your daughter. Aiming the Word only at those who aren’t old enough to question it is an essentially dishonest way of getting it past those who are (though don’t word it like that). If Christianity really has merit, she should be able to convince you of the fact one way or another. If not, it’s not worthy of your daughter.
Meanwhile there are ways to help your daughter to figure it out for herself, chief among them a few lessons in comparative religion.
Once your daughter knows that people besides her grandmother believe in Buddha, Allah and Rama (the stories about each make for great reading; there are picture books too) it will become obvious that someone has the wrong idea. Eventually she will wonder how your mother knows she’s right. Of course she’ll wonder the same thing about you, but that’s as it should be.
Posted: June 8th 2010