My parents never really talked about any belief systems and just left us the choice. My brother turned out to be agnostic and I am an atheist. The main hardship that I faced was a terrible fear of death during the teenage years of my life. My parents did not really handle it well and it was not until college when I started getting into wilderness expeditions that I came to terms with it. My basic question is how should a parent explain death to an atheist child as to avoid what I went through?
Posted: June 18th 2010
SmartLX www
Coming to terms with death isn’t much easier for religious kids, like I was. The promise of Heaven is nice but it has to compete with the possibility of Hell, on top of the usual fears of separation from one’s family and friends and the suffering of the death experience itself.
I don’t think any strategy is good enough to work for every kid. The important thing is to listen to each kid and find out what actually scares them about death: the pain, the separation, Hell, the unknown, etc. Each of these would require a different approach.
The main thing to remember is that for none of these is it necessary to lie to a child, or make unsubstantiated claims. Be as honest as you can, and just keep listening.
Posted: June 18th 2010
logicel
I would explain that mortality, that is, the end of an individual’s existence, is something all living creatures, from humans, to ants, to lions, to turtles, share. At present, that is what a living creature is, a mortal one.
Humans are able to forget about their mortality for the most part. They focus on living and being productive so that others’ memories of them and/or their achievements will live beyond them.
And though each one of us is mortal, life itself is programmed via DNA to replicate for all intensive purposes endlessly.
After presenting such a basic explanation, listen to your child, answering any questions to the best of your ability (or saying that you will research whatever you can’t answer right away), letting her/him know that you will be there for them to talk about whatever they want regarding death, that it is not a taboo topic.
Posted: June 18th 2010